thoughts on child-rearing

This is a letter I received in response to asking my friends' mom her secret in raising her sons. I thought she had a lot of good insight that I would share here. I leave it completely unedited.

Dear Lauren,

I assume that you got married and in the transition to this new life. Congratulations. I pray that you both have some supportive mentors and people to model the kind of marriage that you desire. 

I would say an outline of being a parent/key phrases would be:  All this applies to marriage also!

Seek to walk with God and obey him yourself individually and in your marriage, fitting in with your husband’s plans

Walk by faith in parenting, not by fear- as in all areas of life.

            Obeying God to the best of your ability and leaving the results to God

Seek to apply the Bible to your life and family

Get around successful models of marriage and family and be teachable, get help, ask questions,

Read, learn, adjust, try different things, take action if things are going badly. For example, twice I pulled one or more of our sons out of school situations where it was not going well, and home schooled for a season and moved to other school

View parenting as an entrustment of lives from God, a responsibility

            Then later as they become adults we must let them go.

Realize no parents are perfect, and admit mistakes to your children- keep and clear relationship with them as possible.

Have a united face as a couple to your children.

Take active role in getting your children around other positive role models, adults and children.

Parenting is a multifaceted gem that is never done being cut or polished.

Summary:

Love, relationship, modeling what you want to see in them, being part of a church family where they see and learn models of Christian behavior

Patterns I have observed:

Mission trips take them outside their normal selfish lives and can be life changing.

I have seen a lot better success rate (Children growing up to be good members of society, workers for God’s Kingdom and in good relationship with their parents and

not addicted to harmful behaviors)” in my friends who home schooled or Christian schooled their children rather than public school.  I am talking percentages here, not absolutes . there are “failures “ with any system but seem much more common in public schools where there was little Christian friend support or strong youth groups. The negative influences are so strong in some high schools.

You have the opportunity to impact the world for good through discipling your children, multiplying any impact you could make alone.  May God bless you in your new marriage.

Love, to you! diane