the security Christ gives

Felipe and I have had many discussions about marriages and what keeps people together. We see how some guy will leave his wife after 12 years for some "young beauty." It's a commonly-known fact how men have wondering eyes (not that the temptation is sinful but that dwelling on the thoughts and images is sinful). So how do any aging women keep their husbands?

Well, Felipe says that this insecurity that most women have (at least women married to Christian men) is unsound because a marriage and love that is based on looks is so fragile that its bound to break; if it doesn't break apart when looks fade, then it will fall apart on another issue. A good marriage is based on something else. The best marriage is based on Christ.

I admit that thoughts of inadequacy often plague me. Felipe always reassures me that they're unsound (I love him for that). I was reminded of this wonderful fact that Felipe loves me today while reading a book. This is the very reason why I don't need to worry - Felipe loves me. And his love isn't based on me pleasing him or even on him being happy, but instead it is based on Christ and a decision to honor him.

Our vows don't mention looks. They mention loving God and wanting to honor him for as long as we both have life. I will always try to capture my husband's attention, but it is an amazing relief to remember that our marriage is in Christ's hands, not mine.

Our vows:
Felipe to Lauren
I love you, and I know that God is the author of life and love and every good thing, and because of that I desire to be your one and only husband. Together with you I want to be vessels for His love so that through our marriage and our oneness Christ would be glorified. Despite the pressures of the present and whatever the future might bring, I promise to be faithful, to love, to lead, to serve, and to protect you as Christ does His Church, as long as we both have life. For God’s perfect love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. According to the grace of God, I promise to endeavor to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as part of myself because, today, in His sight, we are one.

Lauren to Felipe
Through your friendship I have been drawn closer to God; And I have found that friend that sticks closer than a brother. As Christ loves the Church, I have felt your love toward me, and as the Church is called to follow Christ I vow to follow you, to love you, to honor you, to respect you, to submit to you, to cherish you, to serve you, to put your needs before mine, to make our home a place you desire to be, to remain faithful and never wander in thought or action from your loving embrace. Together I hope to model the love God has for his children when he sent his son to save us and draw us back to his loving embrace. I believe we glorify God more as a single unit than we do as individuals and this is why I choose to marry you. And as long as we are living, I will be your wife and through the grace of God find my satisfaction in you. I <3 you.