I just got back from virginia

I left on Tuesday. The day before I left I started getting a sore throat and my muscles hurt from sleeping on the sofa (we had guests). Tuesday I knew I was sick. But I was going to VA for one of my closest friend's graduation and was not about to cancel. It was a rough week. We didn't do much because I didn't feel too hot. But we went to her parents' house for a couple of days and were lazy - sleeping on the patio, reading a little, walking in the yard (they're on 15 acres). It was very nice.

The flight out was smooth but disappointing. I was hoping to have some good God discussion with whomever was trapped next to me. But everyone who sat next to me was a Christian. The I got stuck in Chicago for like 4 hours. And everyone who sat next to me there was a Christian too, except for two ladies. But one didn't speak English too well, and we had difficulty communicating, and the other only sat for like 5 minutes before she got up.

The flight back today was smooth, I think...I was so sick that I slept while I waited for my flight, fell asleep before the rest of the passengers were even seated, (got off the plane at the lay-over) slept for 3 hours at the lay-over, and slept the entire final flight including a pit-stop in St Louis where we exchanged some passengers. So not only did I not talk to anyone about Christ, I didn't talk to anyone. At one point I remember a sailor trying to start a conversation with me, but I was already slowly falling out of consciousness and then I saw him board his flight which was not my flight...

LOL - with all those Christians sitting next to me on the way out, I wanted to stand up and yell in the airport "Are there any non-Christians here who want to talk to me about believing in Christ?" but I'm kinda a coward, and didn't do it. But that would have been at least slightly amusing if I did.

I don't normally evangelize. In fact, I never do. I've never brought someone to the Lord. Once at Ballet Magnificat some kid came up to me and my friend after someone gave a talk, but that wasn't really something I had anything to do with. Not that we take credit, but I'm sure you know what I mean...at bsm we're reading about how to evangelize our campus. It's a really good book. One thing I realized is how I've always deceived myself into thinking that some are called to evangelize and some are called to feed the body. But the Bible actually says that the Great Commission is for every believer, not just some. So to be a Christian for a couple of dozen years and have helped no one into a relationship with Christ is just plain cowardice (for me...I'm a coward). I'm too concerned with their opinion of me - I love me more than I love them. Which is too bad, because it seems I'm willing to trade their eternity with my "cool factor".

Well, I'm not really beating myself up about this. I know that sometimes things don't quite read properly over the net. My point is that I've had a change of heart, and the first time I launch out to attempt not being a coward it didn't amount to much.