crazy little thing called prayer

Its simply amazing how I pray and I pray and I pray and I see no answers, find no help, and seem to just be speaking to the air. And although wanting to remain faithful, I begin to wonder if perhaps I am praying for the wrong thing, or maybe there is a point when I am supposed to give up hope on something - perhaps I am hoping for something God does not want me to hope for.

So a couple of weeks ago, I prayed. The Spirit (I say the Spirit because I simply cannot imagine my own person being capable of the progression that follows. But it was not as if He introduced Himself and said, "Lauren, this is the Spirit. I am going to remind you of various Scripture to help you through this.") reminded me first of Proverbs 15:29 "he hears the prayer of the righteous". I know that the blood of Christ has made me righteous. Because of this I can approach the throne with boldness. The Lord hears my prayers.

I then remembered James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."

Over to John 15:7 "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." -knowing that the contingency here is that if I am abiding in the Word and God is abiding in me, my only desires will be those that God has placed in me so that He might fulfill them. So if I am not receiving what I am praying for, is it because I'm not listening to God?

Finally, Philippians 5:6-7 "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So God doesn't promise answers; He promises peace.

My prayer changed as I was remembering these verses. I did not want to be bitter or have any hard feelings about this person I was praying for. So I had been praying for a full restoration. But my prayer changed to asking that I would be able to walk away from the relationship still loving him because we are Christians and in Christ we should be able to still be united in Christ even though our paths seem to diverge. I had been holding onto hope, but decided to hope for something different. The Lord changed my desire in a moment and fulfilled that desire in the next.

After this, the Lord fulfilled many other desires. Where am I working after I graduate? -UTA BSM as international ministry coordinator. How am I going to be able to do that mission trip over Christmas break if it does not even exist? -IMB contacted me about a new job that was just created. How about some girl friends at church because in as much as I love the men I sit with, I just think a girl needs to be surrounded with other girls? -met a dozen or so that same week. It would be nice if I found some girls who felt a desire to tear the Scriptures apart for truth at school, could You provide me some? -done. And then just a load full of blessings to top everything off with - things I did not pray for, but are delightful all the same.

I have delighted myself in the Lord and He has given me the desires of my heart. Psalm 37:4